86 Sugar (the forbidden fruit)

 I was having the all you can binge breakfast buffet with myself the other day in Vegas and as I was stuffing a crispy cream donut in a napkin to take back up to my room,  I was thinking to myself, "Self? What kind of sugary food Shall I hoss down on before the Lenten sacrifice rolls around this year? And with much thought,  I've decided to 86 sugar.  That's what I'm having for lent!

Reasons I've decided to X-nay sugar.

Reason # 1.  I swear by the Lenten sacrifice.  Matter of fact, it's the only time of year I become a super stereotype Catholic  More so than my devout husband.  After all, he was going to become a priest at one point in his life.  So when this time of year comes around, my bragging rights kick in.  But he is more into giving up meat on Fridays anyways.

Reason #2.  I originally decided to give up sugar as my new years resolution, but that failed miserably with my holiday gluttony.  As a result of my overindulgence, I gained 5 pounds.  So I figured I've lost that battle in order to win the war.  Besides, everyone deserves a second chance, right?

Reason #3  I have high hopes to to get rid of my muffin top so people would quit asking me if I was pregnant.  Yeah, that's right! pregnant!  You may not believe such comments like "Congratulations!", "Uh, are you pregnant?", or "When are you due?"  As they motion a plump circular ball around their torsos. Sorry bastards.  Side note: (Although I love multiplying and wish I were preggers mama again, I am not!  But I do have to admit I question the size of my ever growing poku.  For those of you who still don't believe me, just come with me on the J, O, B! It happens.  Especially after hossing over a plate of fried chicken wings, extra crispy, dripping in buffalo sauce, dipped in cool ranch dressing and a side of crunchy celery sticks.  hmm! hmmm!  Not forget the starbucks caramel macchiato chaser that shortly follows.  End results, usually making me feel like a gluttonous P.O.S!

Reason # 4 Now I'm not sure the scientific truth to this one, but someone once told me that you undergo such radical mood swings and withdrawals when you cut sugar from your diet not only from the addiction of sugar but also from the parasites that leach onto the sugars you digest making you that much more bloated and lethargic.  So when you deprive yourself of sugar, you not only detox yourself, but purge these parasites that naturally feed off this food source.  And since they no longer have food, they simply get get dropped off at the pool with the kids.  mmhmm,  I can kill 2 birds with one stone.

So there ya go. I will be testing my will power yet another year.  I have one more day to binge on all the sugary foods I can possibly get my hands on....... And then my friends...., Let the 40 day mood swing begin!